Choices

I long for a son. I have since the first time I looked into his blue eyes. He smiled at me. I smiled at him. It was love at first sight. He still smiles at me, and he is still one of my first true loves. I remember the day I brushed his hair out of his face, and the time I flew him like an airplane, or the times he was all mine for several weeks. He is almost 9 now. I don't know where time has gone. Since then I have had 2 more nephews, 2 more nieces, and my own daughter. Some days I sit and think back on those days, and think of what a great big sister Kylie Jade would be to a baby brother. I am in noooo way ready for another baby right now, but it is nice to think that I might, one day, get the boy I have longed for.

On another note my little girl is growing so much! She is going to be 17 mths in just a few days. Seems impossible that she is already that old. She is the silliest little girl you could ask for. She is everything I want and more! When she laughs I can fill my heart explode with joy. When she puckers those juicy lips and kisses my I can feel the tears in my eyes as I'm so thankful we are both well enough to exchange this kind of love. My little girl is a miracle. I love her so much that there are no words to describe it. Even when she's throwing tantrums, or crying because she's sick, or having a really bad day...I stop and think of how many people have lost their children and cannot cuddle them until they calm down, that cannot kiss their wounds, that cannot figure out how to stop a screaming toddler. I am lucky. I am very lucky. I know God is there watching over us. I feel protected. I feel loved. I am loved! I think of all those that have loved and lost...I pray for them. I couldn't imagine. Kylie Jade, you are my world! I LOVE YOU!